With a mother that shipped her off to boarding school as fast as she could, feeling unwanted
Chase has always looked forward to summer and seeing Lo. He’s loved her devil-may-care
Would you let someone take away everything you’ve ever wanted?
I walked over to the iPod dock and plugged my phone in. If I was going to get any sleep, I was going to need my music. I’d created a playlist that’d become my bedtime lullaby. I couldn’t fall asleep without it. It was like a security blanket that held me tight when I was all alone.I switched it to Nero’s “Into the Past.” It was the first thing that popped into my head, and the lyrics were so dead on I shivered as soon as her voice came through the speakers and caressed my ears.
I couldn’t help but raise my arms above my head and sway to the soothing quality of her voice. I kicked off my boots and let them crash up against the wall. My hips swayed a little and the corners of my lips curled up. This is when I felt safe. Cocooned in my security blanket.
“Is the show for me?” I whipped around and nearly fell over from the sound of a husky, deep voice ripping my calm moment from me.
And there he stood.
His hair mussed up to perfection.
I trailed my eyes down his chest. He was fit and he looked delicious. It was almost hard to look at him without drool coming out of my mouth like a rabid dog. Get a fucking grip Lo. His toned biceps flexed above him on the doorframe while he leaned into his room. I looked further down and noticed the button of his jeans was undone. Hopefully, he just came from the bathroom, but the likelihood of that was slim to none. His abs were clenched and hard, defined and lickable. So damn lickable.
He had a smirk on his face when I looked back up and locked eyes with him. I must look like I was staring at a buffet after starving for months in the wilderness. I picked my jaw up off the floor and scowled at him. My eyes were slits and my eyebrows pinched together so hard I was positive he would back the fuck off.
But he didn’t. He walked into his room, as if he owned the place. Well I guess he did, but still. He leaned up against the back of his door and it slowly closed.
My breathing hitched and I had to shut my eyes just to regain some control over the way my body was betraying me. I sucked in my cheeks and took a second to regain my calm demeanor.
When I opened them he was standing not even a foot away from me, staring directly into my eyes—which I’m pretty sure were bulging out of my sockets. He licked his lips and spoke softly, “So… is the show for me?”
“No,” I said it with too much breath, which made me sound like a liar. Get it together.
“You sure? The look on your face right now is saying it is.” My breath caught in my throat and I wanted to scream and tell him to get out, but I didn’t.
“Screw you, Chase,” I spoke a lot stronger this time. My voice commanding. I should have said fuck you but for some reason my extra bite was hiding behind a steamy façade of want for the guy in front of me.
“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Ugh… The look in his eyes was like a rope being thrown out to me. All I needed to do was grab on and reel myself in what I wanted.
“Really? You think I’d like to actually mess around with you? You probably just got done screwing some girl in your parent’s bed.” I was no longer breathy. I was stern and angry. The clipped tone would set him straight.
“I didn’t. I swear.” He looked honest, but I knew that was unlikely. Because really, why would he be in the state of undress that he is if he didn’t just get done doing unspeakable things—likely to a petite blonde with a bigger chest than Pamela Anderson. “Go check my parents room…” He egged me on. “You’ll only find a still perfect bed that hasn’t been touched. Do you honestly think I’d mess around in my parents bed when there’s a perfectly good bed right behind you?” He smirked and tipped his chin up to motion to the bed behind me and I cringed.
I used to sleep in that bed. Practically every weekend when our parents got wasted together.
I glanced over my shoulder and took in the sight of blankets in disarray and strewn about pillows. Wait.
“Gross. So you just got done fucking in this bed and you expect me to sleep there. No thanks.” I made quick work of putting on my boots and heading for the iPod dock.
But then I froze, and turned around slowly, because I’m an idiot and like to sabotage myself and for some reason I wanted to see how he looked at me again. He was standing there watching me like a hawk. His eyes were greedy and roaming. I wanted him to look at me like that all the time. But he only ever did when it was just him and I, which was rare these days.
“Do I Wanna Know?” by the Arctic Monkeys started playing through the speakers and it was a bit too poetic for my liking. It was almost like the universe was shoving it in my face that there were things about this guy I would never be a part of.
Like I said, poetic. The lyrics talked about wanting to know if the passion is there for the other person too. Do they really want me, too? Maybe I really am too busy thinking of him to move on to someone new? Dead. On.
I’m pretty sure he felt it too. We gazed in to each other’s eyes—fire behind his, ice behind mine. There was bound to be a storm in the coming moments. Our elements just didn’t coexist.
He advanced on me. I retreated until my back bumped up against his dresser and I was caught. There was nowhere to go. By the time I started to retreat to the left, he shot his arm out and leaned it onto the dresser. When I stepped to the right, he repeated the action. Great.
She slid over closer to me. We weren’t even a foot away and I was straining not to close the distance. She had her legs folded underneath her, her elbow propped up on the edge of the tub. “I’m not either,” she said clearly and I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming again.
I shook my head slightly. Not sure how to approach this. “Lo,” I said barely a whisper as she inched even closer to me. “Were you with Beckon tonight?” I needed to know.
I had to know if she was playing a game with me for him.
“We’re just friends. That’s all him and I will ever be. Why does he get under your skin so much?” she asked, and I had a rush of embarrassment course through my veins and flush across my face.
“It bothers me that you’re always with him. I don’t trust him. I don’t like you with him.” I closed my eyes at the end afraid of what kind of tongue-lashing I would get from her. It would likely consist of me being ridiculous and irrational. Crossing a boundary that I had no right to.
To my surprise she softly said, “I don’t like seeing you with Cam. But I haven’t made it a point to voice my opinions about you and her.”
It dawned on me that we were one in the same. We were both clearly jealous of other people who made constant appearances in our lives in front of the other. I couldn’t help but feel a slight difference in our situations. I wanted nothing to do with Cam, she just so happened to keep making cameos at the worst possible time.
But Beckon? Lo had already stated that they’d been friends for years, and I couldn’t really ask her to give him up for me. I doubted that she would even entertain that idea.
I stupidly repeated the same thing I said in her kitchen a week ago, “She means nothing to me.”
“How can I be sure?” The question was laced with insecurities, and I immediately felt guilty again for ever letting Cam into my life.
“Lo, I don’t want her,” I practically growled at her. Want, and frustration was coursing through me like electricity. I just wanted Lo. No one else. With her being so close to me I felt the need taking root and growing through my entire body.
Her knee was now pressed to my thigh. All I had to do was reach over and grab her to make her straddle me. And I wanted to. I clenched and unclenched my fists to try and not focus on her proximity.
“I’m so confused.” There was pain in her voice, and I knew exactly what she was feeling. I was confused too.
I sighed and leaned my head back, mentally preparing myself for what I was about to do. I’d either be rewarded for my actions or slapped across the face. “Lo,” I began and looked at her, “I don’t think what everyone else does. I never have, at least not without some serious doubt. But you have to know, I’m completely caught up in you. And the whole push-pull thing is making me crazy.”
She looked away briefly and I couldn’t contain myself anymore. I reached over and grabbed her waist, hoisting her astride me. She bit her lip and dropped her chin, hiding from me. “Look at me,” I commanded. When she didn’t, I ducked my head down and tried to catch her gaze. I slithered from right to left until she finally relented and looked up.
“I don’t know if I can do this.” The expression in her eyes didn’t match up with her words. She was fighting this, but there was obvious vulnerability clouding in her eyes. I rubbed my hands up her thighs and a tremor passed through her body. “I don’t know if I should want this.” Was the next thing to come out of her mouth.
I wanted to throttle her. She was all I could think of for the last two weeks and I could finally hear the temptation in her own words. She wanted this too.
“You’re make me crazy. Do you know that?” I whispered
Krista Holly is an avid reader and a Namast’ay in bed kind of girl. She started life in the City of Sin then traveled the country most of her life, going from coast to coast. A gypsy at heart with a passion for traveling and meeting new people. An ambivert, if you will. The only things she likes at Starbucks are Valencia Orange Refreshers and pumpkin bread and the occasional French Vanilla Cappuccino. She loves dogs and cuddling with her 85 pound white unicorn. When she’s not reading or writing or working she’s watching TV with her family or making fun of her brother’s love life.
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